Need You Now
by unMaskedSmile
Summary: Kinda inspired by the Lady Antebellum song of the same name.


**AN: Okay, so I know that I said I was working on a multi-chapter fic, but it has stalled. I'm not exactly sure if I'll pick it up again. So anyways, this one. I'm going through a country music phase right now. If you listen to it, you know that country music is the best at telling a story and invoking a picture in your head. As I was waiting in the car for my brothers, Need You Now by Lady Antebellum came on and this is what came with it. I hope you enjoy :-)**

**Also... standard non-ownership disclaimer. The characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT.**

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It had been a month since Dr. Maura Isles had last seen Detective Jane Rizzoli. A month since they had last laughed together. A month since they had last worked together. A month since Dr. Isles had showed Detective Rizzoli that she was in love with her.

Maura knew she would never forget that day. The day that she had lost her best friend, her family, her everything. She hadn't meant for her secret to come out. Or, if it had to, she had hoped that it would've come to light in some other way. Like maybe, the feelings being mutual. She had held no hope for that, though, and she certainly had no intentions of ever purposely telling the other woman of her feelings.

Feelings that had been gradually growing. She couldn't pinpoint exactly when it was that she realized that she was falling in love with her best friend. It seemed like it had always been there, lying dormant beneath the surface of their friendship. Jane was the only person who accepted her, quirks and all, without judgment. Jane had brought her into her family so she wouldn't be so alone. She was the last person Maura thought about before she fell asleep, and the first on her mind when she awoke again. She was the most important person in Maura's life.

So, for what seemed like the thousandth time during the past month's span, Maura sat alone, drinking wine, and thinking about that day.

_She and Jane had just finished a case in what seemed like record time. Less than 36 hours from the point of discovery of the corpse to the apprehension of the culprit. That kind of brilliance deserved a celebration. "A good celebration," according to Jane._

_They decided to meet up at the bar with Jane's partners, Frost and Korsak. That in itself was an ordinary occurrence. They all met up with each other on a fairly regular basis to either rejoice in a job well done, or to momentarily forget about the horrors they faced each day and unwind. However, this time, rather than drinking their "usual" of beer and wine, Jane decided that this victory called for "the good stuff"._

_Frost and Korsak enthusiastically agreed, but Maura was hesitant. She wasn't really a liquor drinker._

"_Come on. Just try it, you'll like it," Jane urged, smilingly. "Remember when you didn't drink beer either? You like it now, even though I had to force you to take that first sip."_

"_True," Maura answered, "I still prefer to drink my wine, though." Knowing full well that she could never refuse Jane anything, Maura sighed, "Fine. The first round's on me."_

"_That's my girl," Jane beamed, signaling the waitress over. "Four shots of Patron please, and keep 'em coming."_

_When the waitress came back with the shots Jane held hers up. "This is because we are the best damn team in town."_

"_Yeah," Frost and Korsak drawled, and Maura just smiled. They all clinked their glasses, and took the shot. Jane had been right, it wasn't as bad as Maura had thought. By her third, Maura was pretty sure that tequila was the nectar of the gods, and wondered why it had taken her so long to try it._

_As the night progressed the group got steadily drunker, and their toasts got steadily sillier._

"_This one is for Lt. Grant... may his bunions heal slowly"_

"_This one is for Bass... that is one freakin big turtle." - "Tortoise, Jane" - "Whatever, he's still freakin huge."_

"_This is for Dr. Isles' sink... where many of my lunches rest in peace."_

_They laughed uncontrollably at that one. After wiping the tears of mirth from their eyes, they decided that it would be best if they called it a night. Frost and Korsak hopped into cabs, but Jane and Maura decided that it was close enough to just walk to Jane's._

"_I'll call a cab from your place."_

"_Don't be crazy, just stay over. It's not like you haven't before," Jane responded._

_That much was true, but for some reason Maura had felt a sense of uneasiness about staying over that night. She didn't agree, but she didn't reject the offer either. She would just have to wait and see how she felt once they reached their destination._

_Climbing the stairs to Jane's apartment, while thoroughly intoxicated, was no easy feat. Somehow, Maura managed to just make it. Jane, on the other hand wasn't so lucky. She fell down in a heap at the top of the stairs. She was giggling so hard that it was impossible to stand herself back up. Laughing along with her, Maura decided to take pity on her friend and assist her. Being quite inebriated herself, she only succeeded in pulling Jane about halfway up before both of them went crashing back to the floor. Laughing even harder now, they were just a tangle of limbs. _

_She didn't know why she did it. It just seemed as though there was some unstoppable force drawing her in closer. Maura leaned in and kissed Jane right on the lips._

_Suddenly sobering, Jane stiffened and gave Maura a light shove. "Maura, stop. I don't think of you that way."_

"_Oh my god, Jane, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just-"_

"_Maybe you should just go," Jane interrupted._

"_Yes. Of course," Maura responded and hastily jumped to her feet. Before descending the stairs, she turned for one last look at Jane only to find herself facing an empty hallway. Jane had already gone inside._

_Once she arrived home, Maura threw herself onto her bed. One stupid mistake had just cost her everything. Knowing that she would be unable to face Jane the next day at work she called and left a message saying that she wouldn't be in. Having secured the day off, she let her tears fall free, and succumbed to the fitful slumber that only comes from having cried yourself to sleep._

_The next day wasn't any better. She still periodically cried to herself. She did not hear at all from Jane. She had been hoping that Jane would call her, tell her that she forgave her, and to forget the whole thing ever happened. Her hopes had been in vain. By the end of the day Maura knew that she would not be able to face Jane ever. That was when she decided to put in a transfer to a different precinct. Yes, that would solve all of her problems._

It hadn't solved all of her problems. In fact, it created even more. Maura spent just as much time thinking about Jane as she had before the incident, if not more. And worse, she felt like a coward for running away. Maybe if she hadn't run they would have been able to work it out. It may have been awkward at first, but they were best friends, if anyone could have overcome it, it was them. She had been so scared that for once in her life she didn't think logically, and now it was too late.

Her musings where interrupted by the shrill sound of her phone ringing. _Who the heck would be calling after one in the morning?_ she wondered. Glancing at the screen before answering, she hesitated when she saw who it was. Knowing she couldn't not answer, she flipped open her phone with a sigh.

"Jane?"

* * *

Jane knew exactly how long it had been since she last heard her best friend's voice. Thirty-five days. Over a month. Thirty-five days since that last time when she got scared, and handled the situation poorly. Since that night, she had pretty much ran the whole gamut of human emotion. She went from shock, to confusion, anger, sadness, denial, confusion again, and then finally acceptance.

She had been shocked when Maura kissed her. She knew that she could've probably handled the situation a little more gracefully, but she had just been too surprised. It had never occurred to her that Maura's feelings had gone beyond best friendship. She knew how she felt. She loved Maura. She loved that she was brilliant, but a little goofy, especially in social situations. She loved that she was now part of the family, since she knew that Maura didn't have a good family life growing up. She loved being able to share anything with her, knowing that there wouldn't be any criticism. She loved everything about her. That didn't mean she was _in love_ with her though. Those were all things you could love about your best friend. Right? She was so confused.

For the almost the same reasons as Maura, Jane had taken the next day off of work as well. She couldn't face her yet. Unlike Maura, though, she hadn't been crying. But she had been thinking. She wasn't sure if she should call Maura. After the way she had left it, she thought it might be best to just wait and speak to her in person.

When she had gone into work the next day and learned what Maura had done she was angry. In fact angry didn't even begin to cover it. She was furious, irate, livid, and all of those other, stronger words that Maura might have come up with to describe it had the situations been reversed. She stomped around the department in a bad mood for the rest of the day. After that initial burst of anger, the sadness set in. How could Maura do this to her? Weren't they best friends? Followed swiftly, almost immediately in fact, by the denial. _Good riddance. Who needs her anyways?_

In the days that followed, it became very clear to Jane that she did in fact need Maura. Everyday she thought about her. She wondered what she was doing. She wondered who she was with. Most importantly, she wondered if she had been forgotten. That last one hurt the most.

"I didn't think you would answer," Jane responded. "I just... I jus-"

"Just what, Jane?"

"Nothin, 's-not important," she slurred slightly.

"Are you drunk?" Maura asked worriedly.

"Only a little. Don't worry, I'm at home. I just needed to make sure you were alright."

With that, Maura heard the snap of Jane's phone closing. Disbelieving of the fact that she had just been hung up on, Maura tried to call her back. No answer. She tried again. Still no answer. After trying three more times she decided that she was just going to have to face the inevitable. She had to actually go to over to Jane's. Slipping on her robe, she steeled herself mentally for the upcoming confrontation. She didn't know what to expect, but this time she was determined to not be a coward. She would walk bravely into the unknown.

* * *

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._ Jane thought to herself after she hung up on Maura. _It had only been a dream. Of course Maura was all right._

Her phone rang. _Maura... nope..._ she silenced it. She had to silence it four more times. Sighing in relief when it appeared that no more calls were coming through she was glad that Maura had finally gotten the point.

No such luck though, because less than ten minutes later there was a pounding at her door. Knowing that there was no way out of this, Jane got up and let Maura in.

"How can you call me, quote 'just to make sure I'm alright', and then hang up on me before I even give you my answer?" Maura demanded immediately.

"I had my answer. You picked up the phone, obviously you were still alive," Jane replied.

"I don't understand," Maura said in a softer tone than she had used before.

Jane hesitated. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell Maura why she had needed to call her right then. True, Jane had been a little drunk, but that wasn't why. It all stemmed from why she had been a little drunk in the first place.

She had been working on a tough case. A serial killer case that was grueling on so many levels. It had been two weeks and there had been no new developments, except for the raising body count. Nine victims now. Nine single, professional women. All of them doctors, lawyers, business women. All of them killed, tortured, by some kind of nail gun wielding madman.

The hardest part for Jane had been the hands. Seeing all the victims with their hands nailed to the floor brought back painful memories or her own brush with a serial killer. After finding another body today, that of a young doctor, Jane had needed something to help her relax enough to go to sleep. That's what made her turn to the whiskey. She hadn't drank tequila since that night, thirty-five days ago. The whiskey did it's job, and calmed her enough to fall asleep after only two glasses. Until the nightmares came.

_Jane had received a call that there were some strange happenings going on in a house that had been empty for a long time. Neighbors had reported that the house had been foreclosed on nearly eight months ago, and empty almost as long. However, lately, there seemed to be some kind of activity going on inside. Sometimes it sounded like there was construction going on. At first they had thought that the house had sold and it was just being renovated until the new owners moved in. That was until the the construction sounds started happening at all hours of the night. Some of the neighbors even swore they heard faint screams, or some kind of struggling. That was enough for Jane. It sounded suspicious and she was going to check it out. _

_Learning her lesson from the first time, Jane never went into an unknown situation without back-up. When she and Frost arrived on the scene something in her gut nagged at her. She didn't know why, but everything just seemed... off. She told Frost that she wanted to take it slowly. To move through the house carefully and efficiently. Something was telling her that this was were they would find their killer._

_They moved in. Cautiously they walked through the house, attentively listening for any sound that may be out of place. Meticulously, they cleared each room until all that was left was the basement. Jane hesitated. Knowing how Jane felt about unknown basements, Frost made a move to go first. Not wanting to appear weak, she brushed him aside and opened the door._

_Flipping on the light, she descended the stairs. When she reached the bottom she froze. Oh how she wished she had let Frost go first. Maybe it would have spared her from this. She began to scream as she looked into the lifeless eyes of one Dr. Maura Isles..._

She was still screaming when she woke up. She had to call Maura. Had to make sure she was all right. Before she could even think through what the consequences of that would be she was already dialing. It was already ringing when she remembered what had happened between them and that Maura would most likely not answer her call anyway. It had been too late to just hang up, and as a result she had ended up face to face with her estranged best friend.

Maura watched the emotions playing out on Jane's face while the detective was still trying to formulate an answer. Whatever had prompted Jane to call her had been painful. She was just about to let her off the hook when Jane spoke up, "You know that case I've been working on?"

Confused about how that related to her, Maura answered, "Of course, it's been a media storm. They've dubbed the murderer 'The Hammer' because he nails... Oh Jane. Is this about Hoyt?"

"No," Jane responded immediately, and forcefully. Under her breath she added, "I'm scared for you."

Maura wasn't sure she'd heard her correctly. "Me? Why me?" she asked.

"Because Maura, he goes after single, professional women. And his favorite target seems to be doctors. Half of his victims have been doctors. Do you understand? I can't find you like that again."

"Again?"

Sighing, Jane knew that she slipped and now had to come completely clean. Not being able to look Maura in the eyes, she sat on the couch and hung her head in her hands as she answered, "I had a nightmare. Frost and I were checking up on a tip. When we got there, I found you. It turned out you had been the vic. It was so horrible. I woke up screaming. You know how my dreams affect me sometimes."

While Jane had been talking Maura had gone to sit next to her on the couch. Placing a hand on her arm she said to her, "Come on, let's get you to bed."

Jane stood and allowed Maura to pull her into the bedroom. Jane laid down first, then Maura joined her after a short hesitation. They laid shoulder to shoulder, in a bearable silence for quite some time. Feeling that she should lightly break the ice, Jane spoke up. "So just the sleepover this time then?" she teased.

Hearing the light tone in her friend's voice, Maura smiled and decided to go with it, "Well, we all know how you took it the last time I told you I was attracted to you."

"To be fair you didn't really tell me, you showed me."

"True," Maura said, "but I won't be making that mistake again."

Suddenly serious, Jane whispered, "I missed you, you know?"

"I missed you too."

"I thought about you everyday. I don't know what that means though. Before that night I had never thought of you in any other way than my best friend."

"It's okay Jane. We don't have to talk about this right now. I would be grateful to just be in your life again, even as nothing more than that."

"The thing is," Jane said thoughtfully, "I'm not sure if that's all I want you to be."

"What are you saying Jane?" Maura asked, not wanting to get her hopes too high.

"I'm not sure," Jane repeated. "I'm still so confused. All I know for sure is that I love you, and I need you. I don't know how I've even gone on this long without you."

"I'll be here as long as you want me."

"It's not a want Maura, it's a need," Jane told her smilingly as she closed her eyes. Soon she was asleep.

Maura laid there contently watching Jane sleep. She just knew that they were going to be alright, even though she didn't know exactly what the future held for them. Would they just be best friends, or some day lovers, or more? It was all up to Jane. Maura would take whatever Jane was willing to give because the alternative of not having her at all was just unacceptable and too painful to even contemplate. She was hopeful though. Jane did love her after all. And besides, they needed each other.

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**Another AN: After I wrote this I noticed a few similarities between this one and _Dear Jane_. The main one being that Maura once again ran away. I hope that isn't too off-putting because I do feel like this one is way different, and way better. Stands to reason, considering _Dear Jane_ was my first.**

**Oh... and I kinda left it up in the air because I'm still on the fence about whether or not they should be together or if they're just really best friends... sorry :-)**


End file.
